Thursday, 17 April 2014

A mixture of stories

My MMR Results on my brain

Today, Thursday, 17 April 2014 I eventually got my results from my radiotherapy treatment which started on the 5 Feb 2014. The result was positive because the radiotherapy stopped the tumours growing over the last two months. My consultant is hoping that the new drug Lapatinib will maybe reduce the tumours as time goes on.

I was extremely nervous before the results because I have being getting painful headaches and dizziness thinking that the tumours were getting bigger. Now I can relax a little bit because the headaches are due to the drugs I am taking.

My new drug - Lapatinib

On Thursday, 20 March 2014 - I started the best drug for me, Lapatinib and chemo tablets. I have to take Lapatinib continually and chemo for two weeks and then one week off.

I am on my second treatment and side effects are sharp headaches and dizziness when I bend down and even getting up from a chair – a small price to pay. I am still taking steroids for the last 3 months until the headaches ease. I have put on 2 stone and my face is really puffed out.

My white feathers

After finding out my brain tumours had increased – I was looking in my stationery drawer and I found a white feather. I asked my kids and husband did they put the feather in the drawer. They all said “No”.

Then my daft husband piped up “you found that out in the street the other week”, I told him to “shut the fuck up “. I looked it up on the internet about finding a white feather it’s a sign of my guardian angel giving me hope and it gives me some peace.

Couple of weeks later, walking around the James Hamilton Heritage Park, I found 3 other white feathers. Just before finding the feathers I was getting upset because I was walking so slow and 80 year old pensioners were passing by me – I found the 3 white feathers and again I felt hope that I might get by fitness back.
Whilst collecting the white feathers from the lake I asked the Big Man did he believe that my guardian angel is with me. The big man then spoils the moment and said the feathers came out of that ducks arse at the lake. I really hate the Big Man at times.

My Vision – old eyes
I know that I have been given a terminal illness but I see myself looking out of very wrinkled old eyes – watching other people dying before me, I don’t like this vision.

My teacher Name – Mrs B
I was bored with just Mrs Bredin and I needed a trend, new young name and I decided to call myself Mrs B.

My new S1 pupils started a new school term and I introduced myself as Mrs B.

I told the class my name was Mrs B because I am beautiful, the best, brilliant, a buzz etc. I asked the class for more suggestions – one wee shit said “B for Beast” well that busted my bubble. I threw him out.


My book

I have started my life story – beginning from being born in Belfast in the troubles, the craic, depression, dyslexia (failing exams) and a very strong fight never to give up on anything.

My Blog

Updated hits are 28,648 – all over the world.

My Arm

Whilst I was in hospital at the start of Feb 2014, I had 12 attempts to get a line in. Look at my bloody arm:

My new hobby - Gardening
I started gardening - I just stick the flowers into the soil, but it gives a nice curb appeal.

My Painting by numbers

I have started painting – painting by numbers and have given my twin sister my first painting. I started 3 more paintings but I lost my interest.

My Big Mans high blood pressure

Since, I was diagnosed with terminal cancer, my Big Man has done everything from cooking, cleaning and DIY. I noticed he was jumpier and wouldn’t settle down. We then went to the doctors and the doctor said he had high blood pressure. Next visit it was still high. So the Big Man was monitored for his blood pressure for 24 hours. The results were good, a bit high but not enough to go on tablets. So Jim is relaxing more and less DIY.

My Hospital admissions over the last 10 months

In July 2013, I toured all round Ireland. The day I started the tour, I had a quick visit to the Mater hospital in Belfast because my throat was very sore and I had painful mouth ulcers. Checked over and given medicine to relieve the pain. The doctor who attended me was gorgeous.

Then off we went on our tour. Did you ever think why I was touring Ireland just after being told I had brain tumours that were widespread because I booked a 3½ week holiday is Spain. I was told I couldn’t fly because the air pressure on the flight would be dangerous for me.
So we decided to tour Ireland because it might be my last holiday with my kids.

I started my tour on my last day of radiotherapy on the brain, maybe not the best of ideas touring Ireland but I wasn’t going to die in my f*****g bed if I still had breathe in my body – I want my kids to see me fighting.

Next hospital stop was whilst we were camping in Dublin. The mouth ulcers and throat infection was not easing. Did not like Dublin hospital admission procedures and made a complaint and told the staff that their service was not good enough for patients. Family members were not allowed to go into a treatment room and left for hours in the waiting room with no up-date information on their kids.

I was called before a lot of families who were waiting all night. I told the nurse to attend to a very worried mother on behalf of her young son. The nurse started to ignore this poor women's concerns, then I started to  cause mayhem and the family loved it. I could never stand back and let someone be ignored.

 I fucking got it done and I got results. After the trouble , the mother who was concerned thanked me – I was offered sweets and tea – I am a person who can not stand authority over other people who don’t like to make a fuss = well I can make a fuss because I was always being told by my mother don’t make a fuss’.

I was told that Big Jim was not allowed to go into the A&E department like the other family members – I told the nurse move aside she was not telling me what I can do – I have terminal cancer and he is coming in – Jim walked behind me quietly. Roisin was looking after Carleen and Orlaith in the Dublin campsite..

Continuing our tour of Ireland to Cork, Ring of Kerry and Galway. We stopped at Galway hospital still feeling unwell. I was admitted because I had mystery bruises on my leg. I read up that using steroids could cause diabetes. I was given a blood test to check my overall health. The blood test results came back and I had a blood infection – given antibiotics and never thought anything about it. It was just an infection.


From Galway hospital to Knock caravan site. I never left the caravan for 2 days – exhaustion. Visited Knock a gorgeous experience. Still didn't see Mary !! lol

Decided on Monday, 15 July 2013 to go straight home to Belfast then straight off to Larne for the ferry home to East Kilbride – ferry service provided me with a wheelchair and top service.

The weather was gorgeous in July 2013 and I eventually arrived home on Monday night – safe and exhausted. Who wouldn’t be with 3 girls in the back of the car for over 3 weeks.

On Thursday, another gorgeous day but I was covered with blankets. I was freezing and Jim shouted at me that I should not have a blanket on. I screamed at Jim not to take my blankets. I was f*****g freezing.

I took my temperature 37.9 then 38.3 – I told Jim I needed to go to hospital right away. The Big Man said “you are alright, you don’t need to go to hospital”.

Well – f**k Jim’s opinion (Doctor Jim) straight to the car to Hairmyres Hospital to A&E.

When we arrived at the waiting room, it was very busy. Jim and I sat at the front facing all the other waiting patients. Jim registered me in and up-dated the receptionist that I had brain tumours and they were very sore and my temperature was increasing.

I had just shaved my head a day before – so not looking my best. Whilst I was holding my head. Jim started to rub my leg trying to comfort me and I told him to stop. I started to shout at Jim not to touch me because he didn’t believe I was unwell. I give in , I started to ball my eyes out very loudly.. No holding back – a guy in the waiting room was his former teacher he didn’t know where to look.

I was called in right away and straight into resus they were all on me. They tried to get a line in my vein (3 attempts) drips and blood to be taken to ascertain what the infection was in my blood.Temperature scoring 38.9 getting worse, blood pressure just up.

I did not leave the A&E room the Xray came to my bed to check my chest. I also got an ECG. Oh this is serious being in the resuscitation room but I just never think of this being serious because I felt relatively ok.

I was omitted to Ward 2 – I demanded nicely I that I couldn’t stand being with other sick patients - I got my own room. I was in hospital for nine days in the best summer ever.

I was given a drip up for dehydration and a blood infection. The consultant on the ward couldn’t find where the infection was coming from. So if the antibiotics did not work I was to have lumber puncture – a very painful procedure to find were the infection came from.

Friday, 26 July 2013 I discharged myself because I needed to get home.

By Monday, 29 July 2013 the high temperature started again, we called the doctor to my house, confirmed the high temperature was caused by a urine infection. The doctor was more interested in talking to Jim about Celtic.

For over a week my temperature soared – took paracetamol and then it went down and then up, Constantly checking my temperature. .but never going back to hospital again.

A few days later I  received the discharge papers from hospital. Guess what I had septicaemia.Here's me thinking it was just a minor blood infection -I could have bloody died.

31 Jan 2014, when I was admitted to hospital I had to get a line in my arm. I can only use my right arm because I had my lymph nodes removed, so therefore I can’t take blood or blood pressure from my left arm.


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